18 December 2008

Horns of Myleness Website!

I'm back woody peeps! I cut my hair and now I'm on a roll.

Unfortunately, I've been unable to enter my section of the jsnouff.com website. I'm horrible with computers anyway, and I can't attempt to update my Horns of Myleness Page. If you can tolerate the blank webring boxes take a gander at some unicorn fun!

Leigh Wood. Author.



12 December 2008

Horns of Myleness Opener

Hey folks.

Here's the very rough opening to my fantasy novel Horns of Myleness. This is about the second draft, so be kind! Remember this is not intended for those under 18.

Horns of Myleness
A Tale of Love and Legend
By Leigh Wood

Chapter 1

Tonight will be my last night in Ottodom. Tomorrow I will leave this provin8ce of Erda and be Lady Inalinn no more. Roban, Duke of Ott, promised I, his daughter, to Prince Balris, son of the King of Og. Our fathers fought together long ago against the wild Boar men in the North Tundra. Since we were children, Balris has spent his summers here in Ott. My Love is tall and broad, fit for battle and love making. He charmed me with his humor and bawdy style. I know and love my betrothed, but not yet have I lain eyes on Og. Balris tells me fanciful tales of his capital city and the enchanted land of Myleness. Most magics and traditions of old have passed away in Ottodom.

Only the magistrar who faithfully serves my father’s counsel have I known. We are a province of education and craftsmanship; trade and literature pass readily betwixt our land and the island province of Cosma to the south. My lady-in-waiting Leanora hails from Cosma, but chit chat about the arts or sculpture is not meant for debates with a future King. We are a fine match, Balris and I. A warrior to match the foulest beast of Boar, there is no doubt; but Balris is witty and intelligent, learned as I am. I’ve never listened to the traders of old who brought tales of soothsayers-wizards with powers of the mind for keeping the fine balance of evil and morality. Tales of dragons are still found among the elder statesmen in Ott, usually after a banquet where many barrels of stout have been spilt. Its more honorary now, but Myleness warriors like Balris and his men still wear the crest of the Unicorn upon their armor.

Fortunately, we are at a new dawn. Superstition and magic power have been replaced by Cosma’s growing mecca of art, literature, and science. In those magical days of yore, I’d be expected to stay inside my bower, meek; conjuring potions of love and power for my husband and King. Soon enough my education and rule of household will be at use in Og. I can leave the maidens about me to cook and sew. I am a Lady. A leader. A queen.

It will take us at least four days to reach the borders of Myleness. Balris plans a stop at the Inn along the River Myle. We loved each other many times along those waterbanks in our youth. I’m tall, but Balris was a head higher even then. I remember our first consummation on the soft green moss. The birds chirped and blue water flowed passed us. A brief and faint rain; the wind rustled the collected drops from the tree canopy above us. Balris’ lips were gentle and moist as the raindrops upon my bare breast. My gown was crumpled beneath me, and my white shift was damp around my waist.
“Shall we stay out of doors?”

I wasn’t sure if Balris wished to run from nature’s bounty or if he was just being gentlemanly, but I adored the notion of our love under the clouds. We were alive, part of nature in every essence! The wind blew my blonde curls, and I laughed as I fought them away from my face. “Yes! Let us stay here forever. We shall be wild folk of the woods!”
“All right then!” Balris chuckled and tore his wet under tunic off. “Shall we always be naked?”
He kissed my belly and pushed my knees away.
“If you like.”
“Yes, I like.”

Balris had indulged me before, and I pleased him as well, but we needed no more banter. He looked at me from under his wet, shaggy hair; his eyes held the same nature’s lust that trembled through me. I shuddered from the ticklish raindrops and clung to Balris’ strong shoulders as he was within me.

It was perhaps painful, but I remember my excitement more than displeasure. Balris was large-towering even then-yet he began gentle upon me. His rough thrusts quickened as his kisses and hot breath rubbed against my neck and breasts. He was training to be a leader and a King. Balris had all the cunning and charm ready for his duty, but his fighting prowess and physical passion were unchecked in our early fucking. He was hungry, yearning, perhaps even vicious. The Prince could have any woman beneath him in the wilderness if he so chose. I like that he chose me. Our arraignment could have been cold, separate, loveless. But no, I like the way Balris loves me. He still loves me like our first consummation by the river. Hard, unbridled fucking is good for a Queen.

More to come!

19 September 2008

Horns of Myleness-Rough Excerpt!

Horns of Myleness Rough draft preview!
(Not intended for those under age 18)
by Leigh Wood

“Inalinn, say you remember what I told you about the consummation?” Balris became serious, his face worn. “I know it is obscure. An absurd tradition! But it was my Father’s one request when he consented to our nuptial.” I did understand, even if I didn’t like it. One evening of discomfort to assure our royal authority. I would do this small shame for my husband. I will have no questions about the health of my King. Still, I seemed more at ease then He. I placed my hands on Balris’ fallen cheeks. “I am prepared, Husband. Please do not worry.”

The knock, however, came at our door sooner than I hoped. I awaited my husband in my nightgown as there was no need to bare more of myself to the this King then I should. Balris secured the knot on his linen robe. “Time so soon, My Lady,” He hesitated before the door, then finally opened it and stepped aside for the King. Etsin entered quickly, not knowing or choosing to ignore his son’s delay. “I hope you didn’t start without me?”

Thankfully Slivery remained outside. The King I must endure, but the Duke’s presence was equally not wanted nor warranted. He took care to step inside and observe us as he slowly pulled the door shut. The King rolled up the heavy sleeve on his velvet robes. “Now that the ceremony has concluded, I must handle official matters of state. The health and lineage of Og shall be secured. I shall test the purity of our prize from Ottodom.”

The King held out his skeletal, shaking hand. It shook not because he was elderly, but rather, a sneer of anticipation spread through the royal face as he approached me. He licked his lips and twitched his eyes as his fingers trembled. I stepped back towards the bed, not knowing but suspecting what the King wished to do. Surely, he was to observe our marital consummation only, was he not? Did Etsin expect to touch me? Lie with me? Enter his seed in my womb to assure his lineage!

Balris stepped between us and pushed his Father’s hand away. “There is no purity to be found,” This was Balris’ worry indeed, but he spoke plainly to the King. It was no lie. Should Etsin’s unseemly hand feel me, he’d know I had been with my husband before our marriage. Balris repeated his rightful claim to I, his wife. “I’ve taken My Lady previously.” The men stood their positions, Balris held his wrist as the King’s eyes remained upon me. I kept my head low, not wishing to see the wrongful desires in his face. “Very well,” The King finally wavered. “The dowry from Ottodom will suffice.”

King Etsin smoothed his robes as he sat in the chair before the bed. It was a hard wooden chair-none such as the high, gilded, padded throne. Yet, King Etsin reclined in it as if it was the most important seat in Erda. Balris sighed. He seemed relieved that he averted his Father’s interference, but his beard did not hide his frown. Now I regretted my agreement of this custom. Had I know Etsin’s true intentions, I would have pressed further in my own defense. If a member of Og must witness our consummation, why could it not be Tage? It wouldn’t be so bad if Tage was there. A young man who’s interest would be understanding, respectfulness, and consideration. Balris’ brother. My friend. He wouldn’t look upon me. I don’t suppose I am the vision of every man’s fancy-Only a perversion to a twisted old man. Tage would not be one to lie, but maybe he would only say he witnessed but would remain in the next room. I sat on the bed. Mu bed. Our bed that would be tainted now with thoughts of King Etsin. I sighed behind Balris. Observation was not the worst that could be. I chanced a look upon the King. He looked utterly relaxed. Blissful. Excited.

Balris stepped closer to me. Not afraid to bear his own body before the King, he dropped his robe and climbed onto the edge of the bed. I tried to focus on my husband’s build before me, but I saw the King shift around Balris. He leaned to the left for a better view. My husband’s broad frame, however, kept my modesty intact. Etsin would not see all of me. I slid towards Balris slowly. Usually I was rather uninhibited with him, but tonight I kept my gown around me. Balris tugged me closer and parted my legs with his strong thighs. I wanted to lie with my husband, but not in this manner. Nor, it seemed, did he. Balris knew, unfortunately, that if he did not enter me now, Etsin would. Balris pushed my gown up as far as it needed to be, then leaned towards me. “I am sorry, Inalinn,” Balris whispered in my ear. “Be not angry with me.”
“It must be so, Balris.”

It was too late! I could never suggest Tage’s presence as I hoped. Balris might understand, but the King certainly would never allow it. He would never let his intimate opportunity go to him. “I shall be quick.” Balris reached between us and massaged my swelling lips. My comfort was nonexistent-I was still aware of Estin and appalled by his presence-and yet! Balris’ steady work between my legs always pleased and excited me. Blessed it was that this was not our first time together! Balris slid his finger inside me and rubbed my natural oils along my open folds. He whispered in my ear again. “From this night on our time will be ours and ours alone.”

It was a perfect moment, until I was aware of the King’s movement again. His shifting anticipation did not go unnoticed by Balris, for my husband pulled my legs tight around his clenched ass. Although It was a handsome buttocks, this night Etsin did not want to see his own son’s ass. Balris held my legs tight; I felt his manhood rub against my thigh. He straightened before me and looked into my eyes. Our thought was the same as Balris pressed his smooth head into my satin crevice.

I didn’t move as I normally did. I’m not a lady who plainly lies upon her back and lets men do their will. Tonight however, I let Balris lead us fully. I looked up to the canopy upon our bed as he took one slow stroke, then another. Balris arched his head back slowly, trying to savor our incredible feeling as I was, yet not wishing to give Etsin a piece of our satisfaction. I held onto Balris’ forearms as he looked down at me. Perchance if we could concentrate on each other, each of us could forget the King’s rasping breath behind us. His air was quiet before, but now his nose was noticeable about the room, as if he were inhaling sharply with each penetration and catching our scent with each breath. Heavens, would he attempt join us or reveal his own pleasure before us? I shuddered at the thought and shut my eyes. “Inalinn?” I heard Balris’ whisper. “I am almost near.”

I opened my eyes again and focused on Balris. I could not withhold myself with my legs so spread about him. Balris was large and proud and normally a warrior above me as he was atop his horse. He sped his pace within me, and heat rose between us. Balris’ flesh smacked against me, and I smelled our comforting scents of mingled man and woman. Sweat trickled from my man’s brow, and he squeezed my hips with his rough hands. Balris arched his head back again, and I felt his hot seed spurt inside me. Balris leaned over me again and gently slid inside me once, twice more. He held onto me and closed his eyes. Momentarily we could enjoy each other’s feel, smell, warmth. I reveled in his power within me, but Balris suddenly withdrew.

He looked over his shoulder at the King, disgusted. “Are you satisfied?” I sat up and drew our blankets over me, but the King’s dissatisfaction was as clear as Balris’ disgust. Etsin sighed and put on his demeaning air. “Are you always this anticlimactic?” He stood slowly, as if his feeble frame was exhausted by his witness. Now, Etsin quoted and feigned his obligation. “I’m afraid I will have to feel the evidence, as the charter of Og requires.” The King gathered his robes and put his knee on the edge of the bed. A moment before he was a vile old man, but how quick he gained the strength to climb upon our bed! I instinctively recoiled against our bed’s headwood as Balris pulled his father away.

“Look at me for your evidence!” Balris stood exposed between us, unashamed to offer his own body on my behalf. “This night you named me King of Og. My Queen is not the property of the Father King.” The King straightened his robes, but his anger came forth. “You do not need to defend your honor here, Boy.”

Etsin put on his evil, patronizing tone. Usually he held Balris in such high favor and kept this demeaning tone in reserved for Tage. The exclaim was checked as the King swiftly recovered his royal demeanor. “I suppose my witness with have to suffice,” He said. “But I will not count this union secure until a new Prince or Princess is brought to me.”

At last the King turned to the door and opened it. I felt as if clean air ushered into the room; the aroma of sex had been tainted by Etsin’s foul breath. Duke Slivery waited for the King to pass, then they took his stench with them. Caring not if anyone else saw his manhood, Balris rushed to shut the door. He pulled the observing chair against the door, cracking the wooden back as he pinned it beneath the doorknob.

Meet Horns of Myleness!

Horns of Myleness

A Woody Work in Progress by Leigh Wood

Don't let my silly title fool you! I've found myself in the midsts of another fantasy tale! Horns of Myleness has everything the romantic fantasy fan can ask for-at least, its everything *I* like in a romancy fantasy. Heroic warriors, imperfect ladies, decrepit evil kings, and oh yes, unicorns!

Will Inalinn go with her heart, renounce her Queenship in Og, and run away to the faraway land of Little Bark with her husband's brother Prince Tage? Should the Queen remain loyal to King Balris-especially since he has left her to defend her home country of Ott? Everything between her and Balris was perfection until they came to live at Og with the Father King Etsin. The elderstatesmen goes out of his way to make his lusty nature known to the Queen's handmaidens.

Would the country of Myleness really be rid of its dark skies and curses if the Horn of Myleness was returned to the dwindling magical unicorns hidden within its midsts? Why do these mysterious creatures seem to push Inalinn and Tage together?

Magic, quests, love, and confict-Horns of Myleness brought tears to my eyes on more than one occassion during the first draft. Feel free to take a gander at the rough excerpt posted here!

29 July 2008

More Quizzes!

Just cleaning up shop on the blog and decided to post these fun games here to make room for more!


Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Your Slogan Should Be

Leigh. Live the Pleasure.

created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Mermaid

Mermaid: Mermaids are also known as Sirens. These creatures were beautiful women who tricked sailors into becoming completely entranced by their haunting voices and found death soon after. Not all stories of Mermaids are about gentle loving sea people. They are mystical, magical, and extremely dangerous. They have a way about them that brings anyone they are around to seem enchanted. They are very mysterious creatures and to meet one... Would mean certain Death. Let the song of the Sea fill your soul, for you are a Mermaid.

You are Brigitte Bardot

Naurally sensual and beautiful
You're an exotic beauty who turns heads everywhere
You've got a look that's one of a kind

26 April 2008

On The Way To New Isosceles is Ready!

Everyone ought to love science fiction, don’t you think? You have to wonder what people do with themselves on those long space flights-entertain a gentleman or lady, perhaps two-or both! These notions were the genesis for On The Way To New Isosceles.

Subtitled ‘A Tale of Love and War In Space’, On The Way To New Isosceles tells the tale of a man and woman on opposite sides of a post apocalyptic human struggle. JJ and Rub find what they were least expecting-a little love and relaxation goes a long way on an extended space journey.

It seems like a simple premise as I’ve described here, but it’s a notion that’s tough to find. On The Way To New Isosceles is a unique tale perfectly mixed with healthy amounts of story and erotica Hope you like things spicy!

On The Way to New Isosceles is almost ready for submission to the top erotica e-publishers. I’m a stickler for editing to perfection! For a gander at the first 4 chapters of On The Way To New Isosceles, as well as character biographies and fun, check out the previous post list on the sidebar.

If you’re in the industry and want to see the completed manuscript, drop me a line!


01 January 2008

On The Way to New Isosceles-Chapter 4

Ringing in the New Year with Chapter 4 of On The Way to New Isosceles! We're finished and ready to submit!

Please do remember this story is not intended for those under 18.

The Mother Ship drifted slowly near the Nuke’s asteroid, safe and sound. Miguel stood anxious outside the ship’s Conference Room with his newfound friend- the ambiguous Lieutenant Rubelli. Miguel fiddled with his finer uniform suit. Black, with his Combatant patches and emblems delicately sewn on. Ina was right, he was naturally skittish, and being here with a Nuke didn’t help Miguel-no matter how handsome the Nuke looked in his uniform. Rubelli was tan somehow in space. That was always a good thing. Perhaps aware of Miguel’s observations, The Nuke cleared his throat.

“Relax, Pedro.” Rubelli jabbed Miguel on the shoulder gently, but Miguel brushed the Lieutenant’s touch off his uniform. He was still a Nuke.
“It’s Staff Sergeant Miguel Carlos Santiago Rafael.”
“Lieutenant Jason Rubelli,” He offered his hand so casually, as if there was never anything but friendship and allegiance between Combatants and Nukes. As if! “My friends call me Rub.”
“I’m sure.” Miguel denied the handshake, but Rubelli’s uniform wasn’t so different from his own. Dark blue, with shiny buttons about which Miguel suspected Rub was equally vain. Anyone with that perfect a buzz cut was self centered indeed.
The Conference Room doors slid open, and Captain Westmayer joined the boys.

“It’s nice to see everyone getting along,” Westmayer hoped. Miguel could tell when the Captain’s pitch changed. Westmayer said what he wished for, not what he saw. “Where’s Jess?”
“We’re waiting on her?” Rubelli rolled his eyes. So he did have some animosity! Although, JJ had that effect on most people. She took getting used to, there was no doubt. But she was a good officer, a well admired leader whether she knew it or not.
“JJ will be here, Captain,” Miguel assured.

The clang of high heeled shoes echoed down the corridor, and JJ approached the trio. Normally JJ was formal enough in her GI pants and hard pony tail, but this was an occasion! Her hair was clean, neat, and slicked back in a twist. She wore her black dress uniform-buttoned perfectly from the collar to her knee grazing hem. Medals adorned JJ’s left breast, and her hat remained tucked perfectly under her arm. JJ’s only blights were the cuts across her forehead and a swollen lip courtesy of Rubelli. At least his nose swelled, too.
“Finally.” Rub rolled his eyes more, but glanced back at JJ.
“Captain, Miguel, and you.”
“Call me Rub, JJ.”
“It’s Lieutenant Johnson.”
Rub smiled and looked down at the rigid seams of JJ’s hose. “Is that what took you so long? It’s good to know you clean up nice.”
Oh my God!
“You don’t.”

Captain Westmayer sighed and entered the Conference Room. JJ followed and sat on the Combatant side of the u shaped table. Miguel sat next to her, but Rubelli took his place beside a tall, dark man waiting in the Nuke’s corner.
“Colonel Gauthier, Lieutenant Rubelli of the Nuclear Division,” Westmayer stood inside the table and addressed his guests. “Thank you for coming aboard. Lady and Gentlemen, we are allied.”

Westmayer sat and the solid Colonel Gauthier rose. Also dressed in his finest and adored with ribbons, the Colonel might have been a looker in his day, had it not been for the ugly circumstances the comet put us into. JJ shifted beside Miguel before The Colonel’s presentation even began. Miguel looked at her, but JJ watched Rubelli’s sight line- it was beneath the table gawking at her rustling stockings again. Gauthier sighed and Rub paid attention to his superior.
“Captain, we’ve had this Alliance in the pipeline for some time, but I can tell Lieutenant Johnson needs an explanation.”
JJ straightened and turned to Westmayer. “May I speak freely, Sir?”
“Whatever you say isn’t going to scare them away,” Westmayer braved. He’d love to control JJ on this if he could. Of course he knew he couldn’t.

JJ remained collected before Colonel Gauthier. “You can’t expect me to change overnight. We’re lucky most of the unit only suffered bumps and bruises from your stun weapons. Two, however, did die, and unfortunately, 17 people were on the crashed drop ship. I’m going to weigh this Alliance on those people.”
“Not to mention the thousands of Combatants killed on Isosceles due to your chemical weapons,” Miguel supported. Nukes had once been with Combatants against the Shippers. The high tech shipbuilders had abandoned both factions on earth, but once the leftovers made it to the nearest inhabited planet, the Nukes turned, too.
“Part of this Alliance is accepting responsibility for our actions,” Gauthier admitted. “The comet that ruined earth was beyond our control, but the war and factions we have caused can be rectified here and now.”

JJ put her elbows on the table. “As much as I dislike the past, I fail to see the mutual benefits here.”
Gauthier paced inside the divided table. “Our common enemy is a fine place to start.”
“My enemy’s enemy is my friend?” Miguel crossed his arms. Was that their only negotiation? “Captain?”
“The rest of the Mother Ships are in concordance with this Alliance. They will rendezvous with us before Isosceles. A base, new weapons, supplies. Our leadership wants to hear the Nukes’ case.”
“Isosceles?” JJ crossed her arms, too. “Again? Really?”
“Isosceles is not a bountiful planet-naturally or since our weapons altered the planet. We were wrong to put out what Combatants had come there, “The Colonel reiterated. “But it is a home. Ground, not a ship. Lieutenant, Sergeant, your superiors are tired of running.”
“Isosceles?” JJ repeated in disbelief. “That triangular continent can’t sustain cacti.”
JJ let the room still, but could not resist her stubborn tendencies.
“What’s the catch?”

Gauthier straightened his old school brown jacket and leaned on the table.
“Isosceles is running out of resources, but our intelligence has discovered a new planet within five light years. It’s bigger than Earth, and capable of sustaining us all.”
“It’s already inhabited,“ Miguel burst the bubble. “Isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Rubelli picked an inopportune time to speak up. “By the Shippers.”


JJ heals boomed from the Conference Room, but Captain Westmayer followed undeterred. Two hours of particulars with the Nukes. Ugh!
“Jess, wait.”
JJ turned on her heel and confronted her Captain. How could he? How dare he!

“You could have told me, Scott. Everything I know has been turned upside down and I’m hearing why from them.”
“I couldn’t tell you because you wouldn’t have gone on the mission. Nukes have intelligence, so do the Shippers. It needed to look like real. Shippers would double their advances if they knew we combined against them to take their planet. Besides, it’s not like your life hasn’t been turned upside down before.”
“Don’t say by the comet, Scott,” JJ almost turned away, but stepped closer to the Captain. If he was going to use history, so could she. “Have you forgotten what the Nukes did? They got to Isosceles first-deflected everybody with their bombs and toys. They turned the Shippers away and stuck us on the Isosceles tundra-after they killed half of us with their engineered viruses!”
Westmayer sighed. “This isn’t about any ethical debates. We can’t go over old ground-“
“Isosceles is old ground! As old as earth. Let’s try there again. Oh, wait!”
“Don’t play on words with me!” Westmayer wasn’t so much angry as passionate. But why be passionate about this? “You don’t have a choice in this, Jess. Think of it as one last mission before you retire. We can finish this here and now. No Shippers. No Nukes- not even Combatants. Just people going home. To a real home, not a bunk.”
“I can’t do it, Captain.” JJ backed away. “Shippers just made off with the choice ships, but Nukes! They’ve always used the comet for their own agenda. I don’t want to work with any Nukes. I don’t want to be on the same ship with them. I can’t. I won’t even be in the same room with them!”
JJ sprinted away from Westmayer before the Captain could reprimand her, as she knew he would like to.

To read the first five chapters of On The Way to New Isosceles, visit Leigh Wood. Author.

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